Life!

I keep thinking, with so much of problems around me, how I would manage my career? Given that I work for a Software firm, and given that I am career focussed, my job requires my full attention at least during work hours. Of late rather from past few months, I seem too engrossed with other issues rather than work at office. This brings me to another question: Is my work so important than my personal life. Am I running away from problems rather than face them? Shouldn’t I be fixing those problems first and everything would fall in place?

I wish it was that simple. Or maybe it is. I don’t know.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t try. That doesn’t mean I should be filled with grief or anger. Isn’t that a life? Isn’t that LIFE? To know a few things can’t be fixed, but you should still move on accepting that fact.

Times like these determine your strength, make you grow stronger emotionally, teach you in a lot of different ways, makes you meet the other side of life.

We should be thankful to bad times as we are for good times in our life, for it gave us a chance to embrace and appreciate good things in life.

I am still trying to make peace with myself. I hope and wish I can find it soon. But I am thankful to the roller coaster ride, for it makes me who I am. 

Being imperfect

Extract from another blog which I really liked :)

Perfection is a bitch. And severely overrated.

The way to achieve excellence in anything is to focus on the moment-to-moment experience of it, to learn how to find pleasure in the actual learning of the thing — the slow deep attainment of mastery — of true knowing — instead of trying to rush ahead to the final product because of some image in our heads of what it will look like to others and how sexy it will make us.

We want perfection and we want it now.

We don’t want the tedium of repeating things we’re still too uncomfortable with to actually enjoy yet.

So we get caught up in the story going on inside our heads (I’m a loser, this is stupid, I’m no good at it, what’s for dinner, when is this class going to end, that guy with the tattoo is kind of hot, why is she wearing such an unflattering outfit) that disconnects us from the present moment and all the richness of learning, of direct contact with the world outside our heads, the moment always offers.

And when we disconnect, when we stop paying attention, sooner or later we forget why we’re doing what we’re doing in the first place. We get discouraged. We quit.

Thing is, we learn and grow through the very fact, the awkward reality, of imperfection. With each mistake the brain is forced to stop, go over what went wrong, compare it to the model and make the adjustments. The brain must slow down and pay deep attention: thus, it learns. (This is what ‘deliberate practice’ is all about.)

We feel so threatened and shamed by our own imperfection that we banish it to the shadows. As we grow up, we learn to craft our persona according to outside expectations: we keep the elements of ourselves that bring love, attention and pleasure, while disowning those that cause us pain.

Perfection is about being safe, secure and controlled.

Imperfection is about being messy, flawed, and out of control.

If perfection is what is good, and rewarded, then imperfection is bad and invites scorn and punishment.

And yet it’s the willingness to be imperfect that contains the treasure chest of our own creativity.

Thinking Loud...

In this post I would like pen down my thoughts about random things around me!

• I usually hate to click pictures while I am out enjoying, but pictures are what reminds us of all the good times. 

• I wanted to be excited but I am not!

http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/maroon-5-lyrics/payphone-lyrics.html 

Where have the times gone 
Baby its so wrong 
Where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah I, I know its hard to remember
The people we used to be...
It's even harder to picture 
That you're not here next to me.
You say it's too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted.
All of our bridges burned down.
I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights.
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise.

To let go...

Why is it so hard to let go of your love??

Or should I ask this: Why should I let go of someone who is already mine?
What does it mean by he is already yours?
You don't own him? Do you? No..
He cant be yours.
But still I miss..
I still love him..
I still cry for him..
I still hope for him..

I wonder can I ever forget him or stop loving him..
I know I cant..
I know I will never be able to..
I know I am trapping myself into something which I should never do..
I have been this road once before..
I know this is going to tear me apart..
But I do not have the courage to say no..
For I know, I do not have the strength to recover from the pain this is going to cause,
maybe I like being in this feeling..
or rather I love him more than myself, to let this hurt me once more..

The Wait...

How would you tell someone, “I love you”? Is it that easy to say??

How would you believe someone loves you the most?? Just by what they say??

I need you to tell me how much you love me. How much you care for me.
Not just by words, I want to feel it.. 

Because I waiting to hear from you, 

a word, a gesture, a feeling, an emotion of being loved by you.

Can’t you see the tears in my eye,

the pain in my heart,

the wait in my head,

the numbness in my body??

Can’t you hear, what my heart says?
Can’t you feel my prayer?

Don’t you feel the same? 

Don't you know how I feel for you??? 

The Feeling...

What do you call the feeling when you wait for the whole day for an SMS??

How do you feel when that someone remembers small details about you…

When he asks you to dance??

When those mushy songs really mean to you

When you smile for no reason

When you are so preoccupied by some thoughts all time

When Red seems the best color

Even a stare of that person turns you on

When pages of the books seems nothing

When you find it hard to concentrate on work

When you don’t hear what your mom’s saying on the dinning table

When you feel full of joy

When you seem to forget which day it is

When time seems to fly

When you can’t explain the shyness on your face

When your heart pounces when he is around

When you stammer, while speaking to him

When you seem to forget why you called him

When you feel the winds singing with you

When you stand in front of mirror and try to perfect yourself J

When you forget where you kept your keys

When every color seems so alive

When you feel jealous when he talks to your friend..

When you know he will never be yours but still he is in your prayer

When you make your plans based of his

When you wait for hours just to get a glimpse of his

When you make up reasons to be around him….

Do you call this Love???

Have you ever thought!!!

Have you ever thought, I deserve more..
Have you ever thought, I could have done better..
Have you ever thought, This is what I could do, no more no less..
Have you ever thought, This job sucks??
Have you ever thought, How lucky I am to have a job like this :)
Have you ever thought, I should put on some weight??
Have you ever thought, I should lose a lot of weight ;)
Have you ever thought, I should have someone who cares for me all the time?
Have you ever thought, Why the hell am I with this person?
Have you ever thought, Life is so wonderful..
Have you ever thought, Life sucks?
Have you ever thought, Growing old is so wonderful..
Have you ever thought, Growing old is scary..

I have thought.. about all the above things and many more..
It makes me think how irreconcilable we humans are..